BHA’s BeFriend celebrates seventh anniversary
Befriending Week blog by Terri Bearhope, BHA BeFriend Project Co-ordinator
Befriending Week is an annual opportunity to reflect on the benefits and impact that befriending can have on everyone involved.
BeFriend is a National Lottery funded project run by Berwickshire Housing Association (BHA) in the Scottish Borders. It started as a small one-to one befriending project for older people, funded by Comic Relief, and run by one person: me. With Lottery funding came the opportunity to expand and develop and there are now four staff in the project and nearly 30 volunteers.
BeFriend recently celebrated its seventh anniversary with a small get-together. Among the people who came along was Diane, our very first volunteer. Diane was retiring at the same time as BeFriend was starting and thought that becoming a befriender would be a great way to use some of her newly spare time. She no longer volunteers with the project, but we were delighted to welcome her back for the day; she even cut our anniversary cake. Diane’s return emphasised the loyalty that many of our volunteers feel towards us and the people they befriend.
Over the years, we’ve helped around 160 people through a combination of one-to-one befriending and group befriending. Our offer has now expanded to include short-term intervention, which is intended to help people to access activities in the local community. Referrals to the project now come from BHA staff, social work, NHS services, and third sector organisations.
The impact BeFriend has can be illustrated by introducing Hilda. Hilda is in her 80s and lives with her husband, Ted. Ted has had dementia for several years, and Hilda has poor mobility because of arthritis. While she is very supportive, their daughter lives 300 miles away and can’t be with them on a regular basis.
Hilda had become quite depressed because of her situation and was getting out of the house only once a week to have her hair done and have a coffee. After chatting to the owner of the café she frequented, Hilda contacted Befriend to ask if we could help.
Initially, Hilda asked if we might have someone who could visit Ted, but we found, after speaking to her in detail, that a befriender would not be welcomed by Ted but that Hilda, herself, might benefit.
Hilda now has a one-to-one befriender, and she attends our group events. She says that having a volunteer befriender makes her feel that someone likes her for herself and not because it’s their job, but because they want to be with her.
Her initial reaction to being invited to our groups was: “I’m not old enough to sit around playing bingo”. However, after being reassured that activities would include crafts, quizzes, new age kurling, boccia, etc. and that she could help with refreshments and tidying up, Hilda agreed to come along to a group.
Unfortunately, Hilda had a stroke last year which meant spending several weeks in hospital and several months of rehabilitation at home. BeFriend was able to support her by helping her to remain positive and feel connected during this difficult time. She is now much improved and says that her connection to BeFriend was her lifeline during her illness. With BeFriend’s help, she remained active and was encouraged in her rehabilitation, because she had things to look forward to.
Hilda has said that, without the input from BeFriend, her world would have just continued to get smaller, but now it feels like her world is blossoming.
Hilda’s story is not typical, because our people don’t have typical stories, they’re all individual, but it does illustrate the impact that befriending can have. Befriending isn’t for everyone, but, for many people, it can have a very positive and long-lasting impact.
I’m very proud of what BeFriend has done over the last seven years, and I’m looking forward to seeing what we can achieve before next year’s BeFriending Week.